What Is an Irish Goodbye, and What Makes It ‘Irish’?

What Is an Irish Goodbye?

An Irish goodbye (also called a French exit or Polish exit, depending on the country) is the act of leaving a social gathering without saying goodbye. Instead of announcing your departure and exchanging farewells, you simply disappear—often to avoid long goodbyes or social awkwardness.

While some view it as rude, others see it as an efficient way to exit without disrupting the event or getting caught in endless small talk.

Why Is It Called an ‘Irish Goodbye’?

The term "Irish goodbye" seems to have originated in England and America, rather than in Ireland itself. It’s likely tied to negative stereotypes of the Irish, much like how other cultures have their own names for this type of exit:

• The English originally called it a "French leave", implying that the French were rude for leaving without saying goodbye.

• The French retaliated by calling it "filer à l’anglaise" (to leave like the English).

• Germans use "Polish exit" (einen polnischen Abgang machen), which gained popularity after the fall of the Berlin Wall.

• In Russia, Romania, and Hungary, similar phrases exist that blame the English for the silent departure.

Many cultures associate this exit strategy with another nation they viewed negatively at the time. The term “Irish goodbye” may have been a way for the British to mock the Irish, either due to stereotypes about drunkenness or as a general insult during British rule over Ireland.

Is the Irish Goodbye Considered Rude?

It depends! While some people see it as disrespectful, others argue it’s actually polite and practical.

✅ Why It’s Acceptable:

• Avoids interrupting conversations with a long goodbye.

• Saves time and awkwardness in big gatherings.

• Some hosts prefer it because it keeps the party energy going.

❌ Why It Might Be Rude:

• Can seem impersonal or dismissive.

• The host might feel ignored or unappreciated.

• Friends may worry about where you went or if something was wrong.

A good rule of thumb? If you're at a small gathering, it’s best to say goodbye. If it’s a large event, slipping out unnoticed might be totally fine.

Similar Phrases in Different Languages

The Irish goodbye isn’t the only name for leaving without notice. Different countries blame different cultures for this practice:

It’s interesting to see how different cultures assign blame to other nations, revealing historical rivalries and stereotypes.

Is the Irish Goodbye the Original ‘Ghosting’?

Some believe the Irish goodbye is the real-life version of ‘ghosting’—when someone suddenly disappears from a conversation, date, or relationship without explanation.

One lighthearted theory suggests the phrase comes from an Irish woman who was frustrated after two Irish boyfriends in a row left her without saying goodbye. While this origin story is more of a joke, it does highlight how common this behavior is across different situations!

Should You Use the Irish Goodbye?

That depends on the situation! Here’s when it works and when it doesn’t:

✅ Good Times to Use an Irish Goodbye:

• Large parties where people won’t notice.

• Events where the host is busy and won’t have time for goodbyes.

• When you need to leave quickly and don’t want to interrupt.

❌ When to Avoid It:

• Small gatherings where your absence will be noticed.

• Family events where it might seem disrespectful.

• Work functions where professional courtesy is expected.

FAQ

What does "Irish goodbye" mean?

It means leaving a gathering without saying goodbye—just slipping out unnoticed.

Is the Irish goodbye an insult to the Irish?

The term likely originated outside of Ireland, and while it may have started as an insult, it’s now mostly used humorously.

What’s the difference between an Irish goodbye and ghosting?

An Irish goodbye is about leaving a social event, while ghosting refers to suddenly cutting off contact in a relationship.

What do the French call an Irish goodbye?

They call it "filer à l’anglaise", meaning “to leave like the English.”

Is an Irish goodbye rude?

It depends on the context! In large parties, it’s fine. In small gatherings, it might be seen as inconsiderate.